After 29 years of marriage, my husband still won't put me on the deed to our home
Category: Estates | Inheritances
I recently found out that New York is not a community-property state. I had thought it was for three decades of our marriage. I am not on the deed of the house I have been living in for the past 29 years. This house was purchased while I was engaged, six months before I was married. My husband contributed the down payment of $60,000.
At the time, it was decided to put only my husband’s name on the deed due to my $85,000 student-loan debt. I graduated from dental school one year prior to the home purchase. My husband-to-be also convinced me that having the house in his name only would protect us from any malpractice lawsuits I may incur during my career.
Well, here we are 29 years and three children later, and the house is still in only my husband’s name. I thought that since we were a married couple, I would also have a claim to the house. I was wrong. My husband had a stroke five years ago and I then became fearful of losing my home. He recovered, but there is always the fear of a recurrence.
A lawyer told us that I would inherit the house in the event there was no will, but would have to go through probate to validate this at a cost of $20,000. My husband said he is afraid I will divorce him if he adds my name to the deed — after 29 years of marriage. I have been by his side through several medical issues and two bouts of extended unemployment. I made a vow and I plan to keep that vow.
I have worked throughout our marriage — part-time at first, but now I make double what my husband makes. We have always had a joint bank account. I am afraid that if my husband has another medical issue and requires care outside the home, the house that my children and I call home will be in jeopardy.
I also would like to avoid the cost and effort of probate court if he should predecease me. My husband is 65 and I am 57. He is in fair health and my family has a history of longevity. What is my actual state of ownership in this home, and how should I proceed in convincing my husband to add me to the deed?
I have told him that I deserve to and will own a home. If it is not the home we live in, then I am going to buy myself a house. This house would be an investment with one of my children to help them remain in New York. One positive point is that I would be a first-time home buyer and may qualify for incentives.
I have worked so hard in my life and given so much to my family. I feel that I deserve to own a home in my lifetime.
See the original article here: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/my-husband-said-hes-afraid-ill-divorce-him-if-he-adds-my-name-to-the-deed-after-29-years-of-marriage-why-are-husbands-so-difficult-to-deal-with-11647352697
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